Read Jokes

Samsung Electronics

   Caller:          'Can you give me the telephone
   number for Jack?'

   Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are
   talking about'.

   Caller:          'On page 1, section 5, of the
   user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the
   AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give
   me the number for Jack?'

   Operator:      'I think you mean the telephone point on the
   wall'.

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Actual call centre conversations !!!!!


   Customer:     'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't
   get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

   Operator:     'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

   Customer:     'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

   Operator:     'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

---------

Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open
   Desktop'.

   Customer:             'OK'..

   Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

   Customer:             'No'.

   Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a
   pop-up menu?'

   Customer:             'No'.

   Tech Support:      'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have
   done up until this point?'.

   Customer:            'Sure. You told me to
   write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.

   ----------------------------------------------------------------------


   Tech Support:          'OK. In the bottom left
   hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

   Customer:                 'Wow. How
   can you see my screen from there?'

----------------

BEFORE MARRIAGE

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE

Read from the bottom going up

-------------------------------

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student: "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as it is. If you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A"

Professor: "Hmmmm, all right. So what's the question?"

Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?"

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can't get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?"

To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands.

"All right" says the professor and asks his favourite student to answer.

"It's quite easy, sir" says the student "You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal, nor logical."

---

* Absent-minded professor - Heavens! someone stole my wallet.
Wife- Did'nt you feel a hand in your pocket?
Professor- I did, but I thought it was mine

*  Did you hear about the absent-minded doctor who, on his wedding day, when it came to put the ring on the wife's finger, started checking the pulse rate and asked her to stick out her tongue?

*  Nurse - You've just become the father of a baby boy!
Professor - Don't tell my wife, I want to surprise her.

*  Did you hear about the absent-minded who stood in front of the mirror for hours together wondering where he had seen himself before.

-----------------

Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:

"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy (Electricity supplier in India ) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

“Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?”

"Yes... speaking"

Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????"

“Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue”

“GOD!!!!!!... ........ This is too much........ .."

"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight..... He will speak to your company tomorrow”

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."